Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wear drunk well.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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