I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
