i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
In America we eat man semen.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
