I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This is my gift to your gina
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
