Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
