He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
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