I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
