Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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