New low: just hacked my moms facebook
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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