so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
