Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
