who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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