Just fell off a train. Bad.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
