that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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