So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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