My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
