I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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