I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she was so not down for the gang bang
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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