we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize