well I can't set my house on fire every night
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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