I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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