I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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