she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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