his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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