...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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