yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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