I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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