Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
