C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
