i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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