Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
