i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
