do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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