omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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