Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
