this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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