Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
