they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
