If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
