apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
