So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
