Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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