She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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