Apparently you make a good broom.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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