We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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