Jerry, you need to find god
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
