ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
