we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
