I can tuck mytits in my pants
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
