Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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