Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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