Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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