Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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