I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
