Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Nicole vs. Life
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize