My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
