new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
ttyl tear gas
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
