Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
