I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, beer. Big fan.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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