does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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